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May 22Both boys have only a few boy undies left in their closets. I bought 10new knickers for each on mail order, and they are so girly with HelloKitty, My little pony and Elsa symbols. Only on days of PE I lay outboy's briefs on their chairs. Jack has three silky camisoles in hiscloset but covers them with blue and boyish sweatshirts. There areremarkably few comments, but I am sure that Jack sees what he's wearing..Finley, on the other hand, is probably less conscious about this. He justaccepts mom's choices, at least until now. I have been questioningwhether I should talk about this subject or just keep on surfing on thegood wave. But I am so curious of what is going on in Jack's head. Icouldn't help myself and decided to bring up the topic in thebreastfeeding cuddle time.While Jack was still sucking, he held both his manicured hands around mybreast. He had his eyes closed. While the nipple still was in hismouth, I told him that his pink nails were so nice and that he did. He's really entertaining and I like him a lot. That's a ludicrous thought. If I'd been a woman then he probably wouldn't have been interested in me. Wait! Maybe Brent isn't homosexual? Maybe people like Brent, Mrs. Cottonwood, and the first grade boys can sense my feminine self deep down inside me? Maybe he's attracted to my feminine side? Maybe it's my female persona that likes him so much? Why is my heart always pounding so loud when I think about him? Oh God! It's all so confusing.I had a zany idea today. I woke up and took a shower and then shaved all the hair off my legs. I can't say why I did it. I wrapped a towel around myself and paraded around in my "skirt." I was right about having shapely legs. For good measure I shaved all the hair off my chest as well.Brent called and asked me to a movie. I accepted. It wasn't a date or anything. I like him as a friend and if he's queer, well so be it. We went to see a "chic flick" but you know I really enjoyed it. I was sobbing at the.
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